it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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