Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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