I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
