just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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