he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
