Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
