I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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