Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
