Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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