i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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