dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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