Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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