thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
