I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just found a bag of teeth...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
