Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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