Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
