Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
