My brain says no but my pants say off.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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