Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
