Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
