cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
