Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
