Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
