he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
