oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't turn off my feet"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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