Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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