i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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