i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
