He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
