fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
