I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
