so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
