We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All I want is dick and wine.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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