I'm really into asian looking animals
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
