Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
