Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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