Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
