He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
