he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
