btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
