I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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