You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
