from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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