i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
