is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
