She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
