Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
