I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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