thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Jerry, you need to find god
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
