I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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