Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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